1. |
Moving Back to Hollywood
02:55
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Well, I'm moving back to Hollywood; I gotta get some new friends
I've been away too long, yeah; I gotta find some new friends
I'm sorry that that crazy guy killed all of my old friends
Yeah, I'm sorry that that cult killed all of my old friends
Well, it looks like I got out just in time
Thanks to the people who helped deprogram me
I was the only one who made it out alive
The hillside was blazing, and naked I ran outside
I'm moving back to Hollywood; I gotta get some new friends
I've been away too long, yeah; could you all be my new friends?
Let's go to Barney's Beanery and get some chili, my friends
After I lay a wreath at the grave of my old friends
The FBI was unable to close the case
The killers are running loose with all their power tools
I can never forget the sights I saw
Somebody option my screenplay, it must have legs
Hey, man … say, man … spray tan … no
Feeding pigeons … having visions … invent religions … whoa
Vermont … Larchmont … taco restaurant … that’s what I want
Take the 10 West … past the 5 North … to the 101 … then get off
When the sun sets over House of Pies in Hollywood
After your friends are murdered, and you're alone in Hollywood
Look up your contacts from film school now in Hollywood
Raise a solitary toast at Ye Rustic Inn … in Hollywood
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2. |
I Have Heard (Explicit)
04:08
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1. I have heard that they have got some
pretty girls around here, although
I cannot find any of them
Where the f-ck is everyone? I don’t know…
2. I just landed at the spaceport
Wondering where the pretty girls are
There’s nobody in this food court
Only robots working the sushi bar
3. Thought there'd be some swinging revels
Where the hell's the party rave scene?
Suddenly on higher levels
I see my face flash on a giant screen!
Bridge
Around the world, the church bells rang
"Tom Chao must die," everyone sang
Ten billion aliens laughed aloud
They burned my picture in a crowd!
They showed it all on CNN
Rolled back and showed it all again
The aliens storm into the streets
Their hatred of me is complete!
4. Then I shriek and run for cover
All these androids want to blast me
Jetpack cyborg starts to hover
Over the escape pod I really need!
5. Woman in the spacesuit locker,
she takes off her metal bra
and beckons to me; I run towards her,
then fall through a huge hole I never saw!
6. Now I’m floating, trapped in stasis
While a huge mob waits to burn me
Why did I leave Earth? This place is
nothing like the ads they show on TV!
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3. |
I Just Sat Down
02:59
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I ride the elevator
up fifty floors or so
I look out of the window
at tiny figures below
Fog's rolling in somehow
A flashing light in Frogtown
I cannot help you right now
I just sat down
Chorus: I just sat down
I just took off my coat
I just walked in the door
Where is the coffee cart?
Is it up on our floor?
There's footsteps in the hall
There's something going wrong
Don't put me on conference call
I just sat down
Chorus: I just sat down
I just turned on my laptop
I haven't checked my e-mail
I can't think without caffeine
Someone hopes I will fail
I hear some anxious murmurs
I see an unhappy frown
Someone restart the servers
I just sat down
Chorus: I just sat down
Bridge
You can see it in his eyes, the CEO is tiring
of spending so much of his own money on new hiring
He’s going to use AI, then start conspiring
with HR to do a lot of firing
Why are you talking to me?
Can't you see I just got here?
I cannot find any keys
I sense some danger near
Outside the air is heavy
The sky is turning brown
I feel it on my skin
I just sat down
Chorus: I just sat down
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4. |
||||
It’s too early to celebrate Christmas
Christmas is still three weeks away
We hate to see your to-do list is
crammed with plans for the holiday
It’s too early to celebrate Christmas
Please exert some self-control
When you start too early and become breathless
You invite madness into your soul
Put away fruitcakes and toy trains and huge inflatable candy canes,
also the pear tree with the bird
Hold off on the festive cheese logs, sexy elves, or heavily spiked eggnogs
until at least the twenty-third
Trying to buy the frankincense, but there’s more incidents of road rage
in the parking lot down by the mall
It hasn’t even snowed, and it’s too soon for sensory overload,
so just sit back and watch the evening fall
It’s too early to celebrate Christmas
It’s too late to stop the onslaught of cheer
Don’t make the day about retail business
You make yourself seem insincere
When the swearing and uncaring become grossly overbearing
and you’re tearing at your hair while trimming trees
Someone pass some laws to cause your neighbor’s robot Santa Claus
to pause, then you can unclench your jaw and breathe
It’s too early to celebrate Christmas
Christmas is not some kind of test
It’s too early to celebrate Christmas
For Christ’s sake, give it a rest
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5. |
I Have Heard (Clean)
04:08
|
|||
1. I have heard that they have got some
pretty girls around here, although
I cannot find any of them
Where the ---- is everyone? I don’t know…
2. I just landed at the spaceport
Wondering where the pretty girls are
There’s nobody in this food court
Only robots working the sushi bar
3. Thought there'd be some swinging revels
Where the hell's the party rave scene?
Suddenly on higher levels
I see my face flash on a giant screen!
Bridge
Around the world, the church bells rang
"Tom Chao must die," everyone sang
Ten billion aliens laughed aloud
They burned my picture in a crowd!
They showed it all on CNN
Rolled back and showed it all again
The aliens storm into the streets
Their hatred of me is complete!
4. Then I shriek and run for cover
All these androids want to blast me
Jetpack cyborg starts to hover
Over the escape pod I really need!
5. Woman in the spacesuit locker,
she takes off her metal bra
and beckons to me; I run towards her,
then fall through a huge hole I never saw!
6. Now I’m floating, trapped in stasis
While a huge mob waits to burn me
Why did I leave Earth? This place is
nothing like the ads they show on TV!
|
Tom X. Chao Manhattan, New York
Tom X. Chao is a playwright, actor, and musician based in lower Manhattan, NYC. He has composed and performed original songs for several of his plays. His original music includes a four-song EP, "The Only Record," and two singles.
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